


Until the End

by Little_Details_That_Count



Series: Over the Years [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Romantic Friendship, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-06
Updated: 2014-05-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 15:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/914736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Details_That_Count/pseuds/Little_Details_That_Count
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Series Summary: Their relationship was as abnormal as the titans themselves. But with it came a sort of bliss. Over the years, their bond grows and develops into something of complexity and simplicity all at once. And it all began with a round of combat.</p><p>Chapter Summary: She didn’t like the way he looked at the world. Always calm, always detached, even when the outside world was in chaos and titans were the top of the food chain. That was why when they first met, they met with fists. It was funny how a friendship could form after the mutual drawing of blood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Impression, First Combat

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan, or any of the characters in it. If I did, the manga would have been updated a lot less often than even a month. Hoho. Never trust me with a deadline.
> 
> A/N: I have this posted on FFnet already under the same title and the username lazily-here, but I decided to expand my horizons to this website as well. :3 So this was inspired by a little writing prompt given to me by tumblr user ask-levihan. I wanted to write a little bit about Levi and Hanji's academy days (although this is pretty much the end of their academy days) and this was the result coupled with the prompt. I got really inspired with it. This is about 12 pages on OpenOffice.org Writer in length. If Hanji seems OOC just remember this takes place before her first mission outside the walls, and she described herself in canon as being driven by hate for the titans. So, that's why she seems a little edgy. But I tried to have her general personality peeking out, because I doubt even anger could keep it at bay. I'd still love to have some constructive criticism, because I still want to make sure I went on the right path with this.
> 
> EDIT: I CHANGED LEVI'S AGE TO SEVENTEEN BECAUSE I REALIZED HOW FUCKIN DUMB IT IS IF HE GOT CONVICTED OF A CRIME AT AGE FUCKING TWELVE TO HAVE TO JOIN THE ACADEMY FOR THREE YEARS (SINCE IM NOT FOLLOWING THE ACWNR SPINOFF MANGA). NOPE. HE WAS ACCOUNTABLE AS A THUG AT FOURTEEN INSTEAD SO NOW HE'S SEVENTEEN AND HANJI'S STILL FIFTEEN.
> 
> ALSO ERWIN IS THE CAPTAIN INSTEAD OF THE COMMANDER SINCE I HAVE TO BE CORRECT ABOUT THEIR AGES AND I IMAGINE ERWIN JUST BEING IN HIS EARLY-TO-MID-TWENTIES AT THIS TIME AND THAT'S TOO YOUNG TO BE A COMMANDER. SO KEITH SHADIS, AS IN CANON-WISE, WAS THE COMMANDER IN HANJI AND LEVI'S YOUNG DAYS AS HE WAS IN CANON AND ERWIN IS THE CAPTAIN THAT SAVED LEVI FROM PRISON IN THEIR DEAL.
> 
> SORRY FOLKS IT TOOK ME TOO LONG TO FIX THIS BUT YOU CAN ENJOY THE STORY NOW.

"Hey, prodigy."

Levi let out a small noncommittal grunt in response, hesitant to avert his attention from the half-polished floor beneath him and the damp sponge in his hand.

"Spar with me."

The words were uttered in a deep albeit feminine voice, which was a rare occurrence for the seventeen-year-old boy, as for the past three years most of his conversations consisted of being checked-up-on by Squad Leader Erwin. Curiosity ever-so slightly peaked, he turned his head, fixing a steel-blue gaze on the intruder.

He didn't remember her name, although that did not count for much (he hardly socialized with the other trainees), but he vaguely registered seeing her face a handful of times. She must have been a year or two younger than him. She had no distinguishing features, leave her goggle-framed glasses, with shoulder-length chestnut-coloured tresses tied back into a ponytail and eyes to match. What irked him was the decidedly disheveled air to her appearance; his fingers twitched, urging to correct every single fly-away strand of her hair. And if he sniffed hard enough, he could probably detect the telltale scent of a person that hadn't showered in days.

And she wanted to fight him, meaning he would ultimately come into contact with some of her filth.

Her face looked dark, eyebrows knitted in a hate-filled expression. Levi's own facial features did not stray from anything further than a clear slate of apathy.

"Oh?" he replied. "And for what purpose?" Absently, he noticed the clench of her fists and the mild cracking noise they emitted.

"You're the top of the top ten. They say you could probably hold your own against more than ten titans in less than a minute," came her quiet explanation. The girl's careful tone barely put a veil on her underlying feelings of anger.

"So?"

"So fight me." Her eyes were cold and hard, in a manner that told him refusal was nonnegotiable.

However, Levi continued to regard her dully, not swaying in emotion by the least bit.

"You're going to have to give me a better explanation," he said. And so he dipped his sponge back into the warm soapy liquid of his bucket.

The girl's fist collided into the wall behind her, still facing him, her shoulders shaking in vexation at his cool nonchalance.

"You're a short little punk with the dirt-tolerance of a housemaid, but if you're truly the most skilled trainee, then you are going to fight me right now." Levi sighed inaudibly as he set down his sponge, giving her a last glance of attention. Her head lifted as her volume raised, stamping her foot on the ground. "Tomorrow is the day we decide our fate; in which group we will place ourselves as new soldiers. But if I join the Scouting Legion unable to keep up with the best of the best, then I'm of no use to humankind!" At this point, the brunette's right hand was clutched in a tight ball over her heart, her goggles pushed up to her forehead.

Levi blinked at her, slowly, but a slight more intrigued. "So that's what this is about," he stated. She nodded, head bowed.

The boy rose to his feet, casting an almost regretful glance back at the mess he had yet to fully clean. When he was standing, he made his way to the corner of the room. There, he had left his mop, leaned against the wall. Picking his way across the dust, he carried the large cleaning utensil to the girl and thrust it into her arms. Her arms were of course still crossed over her chest, so she was taken by surprise, the mop clattering to the floor by her boots.

"Mop up the other half of this room, and I will meet you in combat." The other trainee blinked at him.

"What?" she sputtered.

"Make sure you do a thorough job." Levi returned to his own spot, eager to finish scrubbing. He left the girl feeling miffed as she bent down to pick up the mop. She studied it carefully, as if it were a foreign object. For her, by Levi's assumption, it probably was.

"If I finish your cleaning," she began, sounding determined, "you will engage me in combat?"

"That is what I said, isn't it, Four Eyes?" The bespectacled trainee seemed to ignore his comment, making swift strides to the bucket of cleaning fluid, and then promptly shoving the mop's head into it. The first splash hit Levi's uniform, smaller droplets flying out in every which way afterward as she swished the mop around for good measure. "A dip would have been enough."

Again not acknowledging his cool remark, the girl tore across the floor, aggressively dragging her mop as she went. She was obviously motivated by fury and impatience, from the warrior-like contortion of her face to the brisk, harsh movements of her arms.

Yes, she was causing quite a ruckus, knocking over chairs here and there. Levi was able to physically hear the sound of the mop's fabric creating friction with the tiles. He had now turned to just stare at her, seemingly blankly but genuinely exasperatedly. The boy was one-hundred-percent certain that she was missing five-sixths of what she was supposed to be covering, just going around in circles. In her silent rage she had forgotten to dunk the mop into the bucket again, and by now she must have been simply spreading the dirt.

Levi removed his gloves, getting up once more to walk over to the angry female. She nearly backed into him when he swerved out of the way, sinking his fingers into her ponytail. He gave the strands a gentle tug. "You're not going to accomplish anything like that."

She froze, swiveling her head to look at him with a dazed expression. His eyes were serious, eyebrows turned upward in annoyance.

The girl snapped out of it, turning her head back to hide her face. She gradually lifted a hand to the back of her hair, feeling for his and grabbing it, presumably so that she could pull it away. What Levi had not been expecting, was that he was in the perfect position for attack.

The other trainee got a firm grasp on his wrist, twisting her whole body to come around at his back, fold his own arm over his neck and haul him down to the floor. He landed roughly on his back, his head propped up against her knees. Her eyes bore into his as the lenses of her glasses caught the light. She smiled at him, sickeningly sweet.

"When. Are. You. Going. To. Start. Taking. Me. Seriously?" she articulated. Levi had to admit, the girl was impressive. She must have been playing him before she'd even laid hands on the mop. She would make a great strategist for the Scouts.

Although...

"You're forgetting that I still have one free hand." Before she had time to react, Levi snatched the hand that was holding his other wrist and yanked her forward, successfully flipping her over and in front of him. He used this opportunity to pin her to the floor, her legs strongly encircled by his own to prevent them from kicking out, accompanied by an elbow in her gut.

He did, however, let her hands loose so that she could push him off, signaling the end of their little scuffle.

"I don't have time to play germaphobe with you," she spat. "We can't have a real fight in here; I want to go outside."

"You don't want to have a 'real fight' with me," Levi told her. The brunette just glared at him and shook her head profusely.

"If this is because I'm a girl, then save it. I am not going to cry if I get injured." He gave her a stoic look out of the corner of his eye.

"I have no qualms over fighting a girl in hand-to-hand combat. The question is, do you really want to test your strength like this? By seeing how much you can handle before you break? How far are you willing to go for that?"

She was silent for a moment – gathering her resolve, it seemed. Then she gazed at him, with hard eyes and a bitter smile, offering him her hand.

"I'll go until I'm bruised so badly that I can no longer stand."

Levi nodded, shaking her outstretched hand. He almost ignored the smudge of dust left behind from her palm. Almost.

* * *

_What an ugly day she picked for a training session._

Rain was coming down in heaps when they exited out into the fresh air. At first they were shielded from the downpour by the overhanging roof, but Levi's current companion (opponent?) was not reluctant to proceed. Her clothes and hair were soon drenched, and yet she confronted the torrent without flinching. A dark shadow passed over Levi's face. Rain meant mud, and mud meant dirty boots, and dirty boots meant grimy floors, and all that added up to a  _ _lot__  of cleaner...

Nevertheless, he merely huffed, barely cringing when his shoes touched the wet soil. Heavy droplets welcomed him as he followed his fellow trainee further and further into the darkness. It was strange, but only now did he realize that she was taller than him by about four inches. This wasn't actually all that surprising, though. He was definitely the shortest trainee and would be the shortest in the Legion; not that it bothered him, of course. If his past life in the streets had taught him anything, it was that he could take down many people, despite his small stature.

By the time they'd reached the training grounds, water had practically seeped into Levi's skin, causing him a great deal of discomfort that he decided to brush off. The female Scout-to-be faced him squarely once they'd entered the clearing, her side coming forward and her legs parted in a stance. Absently he could see that the powerful wind along with the moist air had slackened the grip of her hair tie.

"I have one condition," Levi announced to her. She didn't make any motion to suggest that she'd heard him, however she also made no motion to attack. "I like to know a person's name before I beat the shit out of them."

"Hange; Hange Zoë," she called back dismissively, but he could detect the hint of pride in her voice. "And you are Levi. Is that correct?" Levi nodded. "Then Levi, prepare yourself!"

Hange wasted no time, coming at him fast and strong with her fists. He was equally as swift, though, dodging the worst and blocking the milder blows. Their boots scuffed against the ground as they moved, hitting and missing, like a warrior's dance. Levi quickly analyzed her movements, as she did to him; he waited for one of her slower misfires. She shot out a punch to his jaw, which he ducked just slightly, feeling one of her knuckles graze his cheek. With this action he blocked her other fist from bringing in an uppercut, grabbing her other hand and tugging her down into the damp earth.

The brunette cursed, landing on her hands and knees. The ground was slippery, so she skidded a little, and this made her vulnerable to Levi's smashing kick. Hange cried out as his foot hit her back. Her fingers slipped and her knees buckled so that her stomach was now sunken an inch into the mud. And then, she fell limp.

Levi tutted silently. "Playing dead isn't going to save your ass against the titans." Hange smirked, then reached for his ankle. He scoffed, dragging his foot back, but this was in her intention. With the force of bringing himself away already in the equation, the girl surged out of the mud and rolled into his shins, wrapping an arm around the back of his knees. With a quick squeeze, she felt him tumble backward.

Hange was still holding tightly to his knees when she spoke, voice cheerful and light. "Imagine how long these stains are going to take you to wash out. I think I can venture a guess." Something awful flashed in Levi's eyes; he used the force of his legs being tied down to sit up quickly and punched her in the jaw. She immediately released his knees to leap back. Her jaw was already turning red, and she would no doubt have a nasty bruise from it later. She grimaced, but refused to occupy her hands by tending to her face. Instead, she hopped up onto her feet, preparing herself for another attack.

"I suppose I'll have to pay you for that, Levi," the girl chirped. Levi cautiously stood up as well, although it was a bit painful from the awkward numbness in the pits of his knees.

"Let's see, where should I hit you..." Hange contemplated aloud, surveying him. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"You should be more concerned about where you'll even be able to hit me, Shitty Glasses," he taunted in a deadpan. But her eyes only brightened wildly at this, her mouth spreading into a grin.

"Will I get you here?" she asked, spinning on her heel to aim a hit with her other foot in his abdomen. He shifted to the left, taking her poised ankle in his hand to spiral her away. But she quickly let herself become weightless as she jumped with her free foot, and as he yanked her toward him, she kicked blindly into his chest, to his right so as to not get his heart. He felt the sudden ache of nausea that accompanied that sort of blow, losing his catch on her leg. This gave her enough time to right herself on her feet. "Or here?"

"Not quite, Shitty Glasses," he said, a little breathlessly, one might add. Of course, because of the rough training they'd endured for the past three years, it would take a lot more than these few minutes of sparring to tire them out. No, he was short of breath from that evil hit to the chest. Where did she get off trying such blunt, lethargic-inducing moves, anyhow?

"You're right," she replied. "That didn't exactly leave a visible mark, did it?" Hange lunged for Levi again, perhaps more carelessly this time. He was able to fend her off due to this, albeit sluggishly, still feeling a bit numb. She did not let him spare himself a breath, for her punches were endless and savage. He was eventually forced to let a few escape, in particular a tough throw at his teeth. His head whipped to the side, instincts advising him to fall back a metre or so before continuing.

"Still feeling hot, No. 1?" the chestnut-haired girl asked him innocently. She watched him as he staggered on his feet. Her eyes gleamed, mocking him.

He certainly felt the smart on his cheek, and tasted a bit of blood where his teeth had connected with the inner wall of his mouth. But he was hardly one to get put down after a blow like this. So, as she did, he grit his teeth, bearing with it.

"I'd call us even, but you still have one over me," he said, voice rough yet somehow smooth. "This next one will be for my uniform." He ran at her, faked left, then grabbed her by the shoulder. When she whirled around to punch him, he ducked by slipping his foot in between her ankles and forcing her face-down into the mud. Levi did not relent here – no. He dug his fingers into her hair, pulling on it to lift her head out of the dirty water. Then, he shoved it back into the mud, and repeat.

"Had enough, Bloody Specs?" Hange coughed, turning her head to spit dirt on his jacket. Levi pushed her face back into the mud. She spit again and cackled.

"Did I give you permission to address me with such affectionate pet names, Levi? I don't think I'm comfortable with that kind of familiarity, yet." Hange kept laughing, but when he raised her head again she gave it a violent shake, briefly dispelling his hand from her hair. She then rolled a good three metres away from him, attempting to rebuild her composure.

Her glasses were now probably scratched and definitely caked with mud, blinding her vision. As an alternative, she pushed them up to her hairline and squinted her bare eyes at Levi.

"I wonder if I just hugged a clean freak like you while I was all muddy like this, I'd defeat you ten times faster," she mused, again stating her thoughts out loud. Levi puffed.

"Fat chance, Shitty Glasses. It's not like I don't have to clean myself later, anyway." Hange giggled hysterically.

"You're right. I think I wouldn't be able to hug you, anyway. You don't look very huggable, Levi, you know that? You're actually kind of scary. Which is really amusing because you're so short. In any case, I feel more like beating you right now; would you like that, instead?" The brunette laughed and laughed, clutching her stomach in her mirth.

"Pay attention, Four Eyes. Or do you think this fight is a joke?" She stopped, and her humor disappeared from her disposition. Levi put himself back on the offensive, utilizing different combinations of punches and kicks. Her head must still have been reeling, dizzy from being thrown into the mud so many times, her eyes also less-perceptive, so her deflections were slower. She would likely find bruises forming on her side, her bottom lip was split, and her head was dealt another large bump. Still, Hange was persistent. Levi wondered what exactly her goal could be, at this point. He prepared himself for a surprise.

The brunette started mixing defensive moves with offensive moves, to keep him distracted, no doubt. She kept hitting him in areas that wouldn't hurt him very bad, mostly around his shoulders. At one point her foot went for his head, which he blocked by striking her ankle. While he did that, she directed a weaker fist at his neck, to which he also blocked. Now with both of his hands busy, she used this second to send her right fist pummeling hard into his gut. Her concentration was at its maximum, for she did not stop there. In the moment he recognized the sharp pain he'd been delivered, she grabbed his arms and twisted them back.

Hange basically threw him onto the ground and jumped on him, putting her whole weight into keeping him immobilized. She sat herself on his stomach, her boots crushing down on his hands to keep them from even twitching, and just punched him in the jaw, over and over. She didn't give Levi time to think. The pain came fast and hard, no thought of moving crossing his thoughts at all. His head jerked back and forth with each hit, increasing the pain exponentially. At some points he had his breath ripped out of him, not given time to inhale. Soon enough his brain felt a little fuzzy.

But he'd been in this situation before; many times before, if he remembered correctly. He was sure he knew how to defend himself against this, but Levi wondered, were things supposed to happen like this? She was hitting him with so much passion and rage, that he realized, this couldn't be a way for her to better her fighting prowess. No, it didn't work like that. Hange seemed to be venting her anger at this point.

Levi stared up at her through impassive blue eyes, and it only made her pound his face harder, each blow becoming more barbaric than the last. Blood spilled from his nose, his cheeks stung, and all the while his head still throbbed. He saw her brown eyes, startlingly conveying madness as well as something else – something banished and without hope, looking lost and abandoned, something that resembled sadness in many ways.

One should have felt confused. If she was feeling remorse, then why was she beating him so mercilessly? But Levi felt that he knew why all too well. Why she'd asked for this fight, and why she'd seemed to be acting recklessly up until this point; like she was feeling impatient, waiting for something to happen that would set her off. She had certainly bested him more than once during this fight, but now he recalled that she was in the top ten as well, in the third spot or less. Hange no doubt could have fared even better against him than she'd already had. Levi knew that grief or vindictive emotions could make a person more irrational in a battle as well. All of these thoughts led up to confirm his final deduction.

She was not really looking to win against the top , to prove her worth. No, she was looking to get her hands on  _him_. She wanted to hurt him, because of how she felt on a personal level, for whatever reason she had.

Levi noticed that her fists were raw and scabbing, and her hits were becoming less vicious; slower and wearier. She was tiring herself out.

And through the excruciating pain, it dawned on Levi that his hands were at liberty. Hange's feet were now tucked underneath her knees on either side of him, completely harmless. The boy tested his fingers, getting a sore but still functional response from all but one pinky. He let out a short breath as he closed his eyes.

One last defeated punch wracked Levi's skull, before a hand fell on his chest.

Then, a warm raindrop landed on his forehead.

Wait – no, that wasn't a raindrop. All of the other raindrops that hit him or initially soaked him had been cold and jarring. And this drop's warmth was quickly absorbed by the others, returning the temperature of his face to its previous state. But then more of these heated raindrops trickled over him. One of them in particular spilled over his mouth, and he tasted salt.

_Salt._

Suddenly Levi grew an awareness to the sound of silent weeping, muffled by the sensation of cotton balls trapped in his head. He peered through the slits in his eyelids and saw Hange covering her face with her arm.

The other trainee's mouth was parted slightly, biting down on her bicep. Her eyes, uncovered by her glasses, were clenched tightly shut, unmistakable tears streaming down her cheeks. Hange choked back a sob. Then she cleared her throat and wiped her eyes with her sleeves. She forced her eyelids open to pin Levi with a menacing, red-eyed glare.

"What...what the hell is wrong with you?" she asked. Her voice was cracked but furious, spilling with emotion. Levi continued to stare at her, unflinching. "How...how can you look at people like that, like you don't care about anything in this world? Do you really not care, Levi? If you were sent to your death, would you care? Because I want to know. How can you not show hatred, with the thought of all those beasts that keep us caged and overpower us? Thinking about all of those monsters...who take lives in the Legion, the lives of people with families and friends, who have others looking up to them as a glimmer of hope for humanity. Is it because you're just another one of those selfish, self-important pigs that wish for a safe life in the Military Police? Then tell me, dammit! Tell me that you'd rather sit on your ass and dull your emotions so that you don't have to concern yourself over anyone else, least of all the rest of mankind!

"Tell me how you can look so calm, when people die in droves outside those walls with every single excursion, and you have the power to help! Why aren't you seething with the need for revenge like some of us? Even after I punched your lights out, you have no feeling whatsoever! What kind of callous person are you?!"

Levi listened to her carefully, finally understanding the root of all this. He was right, she had some beef with him. Or rather, she had beef with everyone that acted like he did, considerably the ones willing to join the MP. He just happened to be the one she'd decided to pick on, due to his status.

This girl was consumed by outrage at the titans that served Scouts as a meal everyday. And maybe she, herself, had had a family member that died in vain as a member of the Recon Corps; perhaps a sibling, or some other relative; (parents were rarely Scouts; the decision to risk one's life outside the walls was always made a fairly young age, and after a real mission, it was probably impractical to think of having a child who could be orphaned any day).

Or maybe she was a person of an inquisitive nature, who hated the titans for blocking humans from exploring the outside world. Whichever the reason, she had been taking this hatred out on him before she would have to face the titans within a month's time. She thought he represented the ignorance of humankind – the arrogance that came with the desire to put the needs of oneself above the needs of others.

And that assumption was so  _ _wrong__ – so  _atrociously wrong_ – that he felt he should set things straight.

Hange had quieted down now, face still buried in her sleeve, when Levi blinked open his narrow eyes. His nose wrinkled in disgust. He was sick of her grieving, ranting about something she couldn't entirely comprehend. It was giving him a headache, and she'd already given him one in the literal sense.

Levi's gaze traveled over her, and it was quite obvious that she'd dropped her guard. With her hands otherwise-engaged and her legs no longer restrictive of his movements, he curled and uncurled his fingers experimentally. It was time that he was the one to do the talking.

The boy reached for Hange's wrist in an almost comforting gesture, wrapping his hand around hers. She was startled instantly, ready to react in fury. But, not waiting for her to do so, Levi tightened his grasp on her digits as painfully as possible and yanked her to the side. As expected, in her stunned shock she toppled over, just her legs left sprawled over his torso. He grunted, his hand still clamped on hers. Levi then brought up his other hand to her right shoulder and used his remaining strength to throw her across the wet grass.

He wasn't finished there, however. Levi stalked over to her lying form, swiftly kicking her in the stomach. Hange swore at him, but he merely kicked her again with more force. The girl placed a hand over her stomach, groaning at the pain. Levi continued to refuse her of any grace as he used his foot to roll her face-down on the ground. Dropping onto his knees, he lifted one of them slightly, giving her a rough knee to the jaw. At last, when she raised her head in recoil, he grabbed a fistful of hair to drag her up to his level, one of his legs holding her down at the small of her back. His other arm kept hers pulled behind her.

"Maybe you're right," he said into her ear, "maybe I don't feel anything. I don't have anything to lose anymore, so why should I worry about things like  _attachments_?" Here, he gave her hair a sharp pull, and she grimaced. "Who knows, though? I might be the worst human being ever. But you should know something, Hange." Her eyes widened, glancing at him at the sound of her given name. Levi's expression turned grim. "All this pain and hatred, all this thirst for revenge, isn't gonna help you reach your goal. People die because of these feelings. It's because of these feelings that a person becomes reckless and stops thinking, and gets himself killed.

"Wanting vengeance is great and all; and sometimes necessary to fuel your power to get things done. That, you have. But you have to ask yourself; when up against something as ruthless as the titans, comrades dying all around you, do you think it's better to give into your emotions and make a deadly mistake, or to keep your cool and manage to win something for the sake of all the people that died, so as to not make their lives, and yours, be in vain?

"In addition," - Levi kept her head up, as she was beginning to lower it, shielding her face with her bangs – "I can't afford to be arrogant as you thought. Unlike you, I don't have a choice except joining the Survey Corps. But I know I'll have a duty to fulfill, so I might as well make it count for something. Kill your emotions, or die on the battlefield. I wonder what sort of decisions you'll make, when faced with a bleak reality."

Hange blinked at him, looking utterly dumbfounded as he stood up, letting go of her weight and leaving her to stumble. Her eyes stared at him in awe as well as a growing guilt, differing from the blind rage of earlier.

Levi turned to walk away from her, rubbing a soothing hand over his face.  _What nasty marks she can make on a person._

"Eh...Levi." Her voice had called to him, small but sure.

"Hm?" The shorter trainee looked back at her over his shoulder. Hange's face was unreadable, then, brown eyes searching the space in front of her for some sort of clue. But a small smile played on her lips as her gaze fell on him.

"Ah, I guess...well..." She coughed. "It's embarrassing for someone to apologize so quickly after being proven wrong and looking like an idiot. I'll owe you it in due time, rest assured. I have to ask you, though, when the moment arises...can I trust you?" Levi continued to stare blankly at her, an urge for her to elaborate. Her smile became sheepish. "I still... _hate_ titans. I want to slaughter them all...for the things they do to humans, treating us like prey. So there's no telling that...that this anger of mine won't boil up again. I don't expect myself to change my opinion just like that. But can I count on  _you,_ to snap me out of it and tell me, 'Hange, get a grip?'"

Levi nodded. So she was smart, after all. She was more open to his thoughts than he'd predicted.

"I won't have much of a choice, will I, Shitty Glasses? You're so damned impulsive, it might get more people killed than just you." Hange giggled. He figured she understood his sentiment enough.

"You're such a harsh speaker, Levi. You wound me." The girl pushed herself up to her feet and winced, no doubt because of the ache in her side. She jogged lightly to catch up with him, so they could begin to limp to the trainee camp together. "Ah, and I can't only say that figuratively." Hange clapped a hand over his back. Levi glanced sideways at her and chuckled.

"You're one to talk, Four Eyes. What kind of dirty trick was that, straddling me back there?" The girl widened her eyes at him.

"Don't say it like that – that sounds dirty in a different sense!" she exclaimed, punching him in the shoulder.

"Don't push it on me that you took it that way. Clean up your thoughts – and take a shower while you're at it, you reek," Levi scoffed.

"What?" Hange lifted her arms up high, wafting them around her nose. "I don't smell that bad."

"Tch, I can smell it even with this rain."

"I wonder what you would say if I showed up tomorrow without washing my clothes or hair or self. I think you would be proud of me."

"I wouldn't say anything. I would feel the stench before even entering the room and avoid it at all costs."

"Aw, but we got to know each other so well; you even have some of my spit on you!"

This little banter went back and forth for a while as they approached the camp. Then, suddenly, Levi halted.

"What is it?" Hange queried, flickering her gaze over their surroundings. Levi bent down, his fingers searching the mud behind them, until finally he picked something up.

"Your hair tie," he stated as he held it out to her. She stared at it in his hands, blinking, before she took it.

"Oh, I didn't even realize it came out," she remarked. Levi shrugged, resuming their pace as she twisted her loose hair back into its half-assed ponytail. "How do I look?" she asked, but Levi could sense from her tone that she was teasing him.

"Still dirty as shit," he bluntly replied. Hange beamed at the shorter boy.

"You know, I think I'll take that as a compliment."

"Take it however you want, it doesn't change the truth."

"Hey, Levi?" This time she was the one to stop, turning her face to look at him directly. He paused, facing her as well.

"What is it?" he questioned. An absent-minded smile crossed her lips.

"Thank you."

Levi took another step forward, expression hidden from Hange. He sighed, and she couldn't see it, but he smiled, too. It wasn't a big smile, in fact if she had seen it, she might not have even detected it without further inspection. But it was there, nonetheless – the sole display of his ever-so slight amusement and slighter still appreciation.

"Don't mention it," he replied. "Shitty Glasses."

She grinned, and followed after him with an enthused skip.

* * *

"What the hell happened to you two?"

When Levi and Hange had entered camp, they knew they shouldn't have expected to go unmentioned. After all, they were covered in cuts and bruises, specifically on their faces, mud smeared over them in large clumps. The pain had begun to settle in for both of them after the initial adrenaline of their fight, so each of them would release a disgruntled groan or cuss every minute or so. Many other trainees whispered conspicuously about them as they passed, staring holes into their battered backs. But it was Mike, one of the taller of the trainees, that had stopped them in their tracks to make an inquiry.

"You guys look like the devil chewed you up and spat you out. Or maybe it was a titan?" he joked. "Seriously though, what happened?"

"Just a sparring incident," Hange brushed him off, added with a crazed giggle. Mike laughed exaggeratedly.

"Are you two insane? Going at each other at a time like this? What's the Trainee Commander going to say if he sees you? What if you broke something? And you, Hange – you want to join the Legion. So how do you think you can fight titans if you're already sore from a fight with a comrade?" The boy was giving them both incredulous looks.

"I just needed to let out some steam. I can't afford to hold grudges during a mission. A few bruises is okay compared to that risk," Hange explained solemnly.

"The only thing broken is my pinky, because this girl is without mercy. For the record, that might hinder my abilities on the maneuver gear," Levi spoke up, aiming a pointed look at Hange.

"Haha," she laughed sheepishly. Hange scratched the back of her head, appearing awkward as she scrunched up her eyes. "I'll make sure to watch your back when you need it, then."

"Just don't lose your temper again, Four Eyes." Levi exchanged a glance with her, leaving Mike to feel like he was out of some sort of loop. He shook his head at them, bewildered, before stepping in between them and using their shoulders to support his weight.

"Well, we should get you guys to the hospital, anyway. And by the way, Levi, I'm surprised you left that room halfway through your cleaning. The water's just kind of sinking into the floorboards, I bet." One of the shorter boy's eyes twitched.

"And you didn't think to dry it up, at the very least?" he said, tone cool. Mike chuckled heartily, smacking his shoulder, and Levi had to contain his grimace when he struck a tender spot.

"Now, we can't all be conscious of neatness like you."

Levi scowled.

"I'll be going on ahead, then. I need to get cleaned up quickly to fix the mess you failed to." Mike lost his balance for a brief moment, no longer having the other trainee's shoulder to sustain him as Levi sped up his strides. He opted on removing his arm from Hange's shoulders as well, although she didn't seem to be bothered by it.

Mike scrutinized the female trainee's face, and he could catch a distant look in her eyes whilst she gazed at Levi's departing figure. He grinned, nudging her elbow.

"I thought you hated the small fry," he prodded, amiable and light. She glanced at him with a smile.

"Sometimes we focus too much on first impressions," was her simple reply.

Mike nodded.

_We certainly do._


	2. Little Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Series Summary: Their relationship was as abnormal as the titans themselves. But with it came a sort of bliss. Over the years, their bond grows and develops into something of complexity and simplicity all at once. And it all began with a round of combat.
> 
> Chapter Summary: Levi and Hange are in the hospital for three nights following their vicious encounter on the training grounds, bonding over shared bruises and little, meaningless talks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: (I think I forgot to put this for the first chapter.) I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan, and let's all have a moment of grateful silence.
> 
> A/N: huiuh, holy shit mang, I posted this new chapter on FFnet but I totally forgot that I also posted the first chapter on this site, so i kinda need to...double update. so, i guess, if you haven't seen it on the other site, haha, here ya go.
> 
> yeah, it took me over a month to get this out (even on FFnet), sorry about that. I had writer's block, so my tumblr buddy ehren-jaegger helped me out, and then I went on a two-week vacation, where I finished writing this and editing and such. yeah.
> 
> i started school recently, too, so i'm guessing i need to push writing to weekends. i also write a lot (which i need to work on) but i'll try to get the third chapter in sometime by the end of September.
> 
> anyway thanks for all the views, the kudos, and the comment, and the bookmarks. y'all are fan-fucking-tastic. seriously though you should like, pat yourselves on the back for patting me on the back. just, wow.
> 
> yeah.
> 
> hope you enjoy, wonderful readers~.

_"There's an old voice in my head that's holding me back."_

_"Well, tell her that I miss our little talks."_

\- Little Talks, Of Monsters and Men

* * *

Levi and Hange entered their shared hospital room single file, each of them contributing to the silence between them. Both trainees had a lot on their minds, and were rather content to leave the other to their thoughts.

Already dressed in her hospital gown, Hange threw herself onto her bed stomach-first, quite literally falling asleep once her head hit the pillow. They were to share a room, because the hospital was currently widely occupied by soldiers of the Recon Corps, the survivors of their last mission still recuperating. But Levi's fellow trainee seemed to have made herself right at home.

Levi himself let a long, soundless sigh escape him as he heard Hange's loud breathing grate against her throat into a string of snores. He sat down on his bed more carefully, swinging his legs over onto the mattress and stretching his body out.

The night was quiet, save Hange's sleep-sounds; the whispers of the wind exhaling against the shut window, accompanied by the small chirps of crickets and the hushed rustle of tree leaves, all creating an organic medley of Mother Nature's fruition. The outside world held an immensely calming effect for the boy.

He had just endured a long two hours of lecturing from Erwin coupled with having his wounds tended to by a doctor (which, the latter of the two had informed him that his pinky was narrowly fractured). If his physical combat with Hange hadn't drained the energy from him enough, his mental preparedness had been given another blow, wearing him out due to Erwin's scolding.

He realized he'd made a mistake. Levi was still utterly confounded as to his inner reasoning for his sparring with Hange. The only way he'd managed to escape inevitable confinement in jail for his former wrongs was because of this second chance, awarded to him by Squad Leader Erwin. Hange had gotten off easy; she just received minor reprimands for losing her head. But Levi was the one asked to stay behind after she'd left the room - because Levi had had faith put into him, and then he went off and agreed to this petty squabble. What kind of soldier would that make him? How could Commander Shadis trust him not to make similar mistakes on the battlefield - mistakes that were far more costly than a simple bruise between two comrades?

Levi could have told him why. In his opinion, it was better that Hange had gotten her emotions sorted out and her personal opinions off her chest, lest she made a reckless Scout with all her anger pent up like that. But he wouldn't dare talk back to Erwin, the man that saved him from getting put behind bars. He knew that he was a good judge of character. It was better this way, anyway, playing it safe and accepting orders, like a good pawn, as much as it sometimes may have irritated him. At least, Levi figured it was.

But almost worst of all, he never did get the chance to finish cleaning. He had been ushered to the hospital immediately following the lecture. The mere thought of it made him twitch. He would complete the task tomorrow.

In any case, now he was exhausted, his head hurt, his body ached all over, and he just wanted a good rest. He would have to sleep here for three nights, as a precaution for healing, so perhaps he could make a good start on the first. This was still unlikely, as he never slept particularly well, and because he was easily awakened, Hange's snoring would probably keep him up for an hour at the least.

_There's not much that can be done about that._

Levi rolled onto his side, pulling the blankets over him. He made sure to carefully lower his sore cheek into the soft pillow, and breathed deeply once he'd cushioned it to his liking. His eyes fluttered shut, willing himself into a gentle (if he hoped) slumber.

Levi surrendered himself to the pitch black beneath his eyelids. He felt tired enough that dreams should have not disturbed his subconsciousness. With his limbs adjusted suitably across the mattress and his mind cleared, he was prepared to be lulled to sleep.

His thoughts whirled around his head for a couple of minutes, slowing to an eased drift, before finally he forgot himself and relaxed into his usual half-sleep.

_What...a...troublesome day._

* * *

Hours into the night, a bang jolted Levi out of his partly-conscious state.

Instinctively, the boy's eyes shot open, using them to scan the room. It was in his nature to be on guard, even in sleep, because most of his life had played out like this. So in three seconds he was up an' at 'em, on his feet and ready to brawl. The noise sounded again, somewhere in the room.

Being the only other occupant, Levi's gaze fell on the still form of Hange, her chest rising and falling erratically. Had the sound come from her? It wasn't unthinkable.

"Oi, Shitty Glasses, are you awake?" he asked.

No response.

Levi grumbled a few choice words under his breath. Perhaps his background as a worthless thug had hindered him in this instance, making him feel paranoid. Still, he didn't usually hear things that weren't real.

Not lowering his guard, the boy returned to his sheets in a seated position, ears open for any more bumps in the night. He kept his legs crossed in front of him, peering around the room; watching and waiting.

With his back pressed up against the wall, he thought he might be comfortable enough to ease back into a restful state, so long he had one eye cracked, of course. No such luck, unfortunately.

A continuous rustle of blankets started up, and Levi was once again wide awake. The sound had definitely derived from Hange this time around. He fixed his narrowed eyes on her position, wondering if she'd finally woken up herself. But then an obnoxious snore rose up through her parted lips, and his suspicions were denied.

And suddenly, another strong thud. Levi squinted. It appeared as though Hange were kicking the wall next to her bed. Her figure kept thrashing around under her sheets, as well, tossing and turning in vicious circles, like she was grappling with someone - or some _thing_.

Levi released a deep breath. The other trainee, he realized, was acting out her dreams. From the look of things, it must have been a pretty nasty nightmare, too.

_Can't a guy get some rest without some bratty glasses girl fucking it up? What kind of wild dream is she having? It looks like she's having a fucking seizure._

Vaguely, the boy pondered the thought of leaving the girl be, just try to block her out somehow and sleep. He dismissed the thought, however. For one, he could barely fall asleep even despite silence, and for another, the girl was probably going to wind up injuring herself. At any moment she could roll off her bed or open up the barely healing cuts on her fists by punching the wall further.

It was troublesome, but it seemed as though he was going to have to help her.

Levi pushed off from his bed and walked across the room to her bedside, his bare feet making sticky patters on the wooden floorboards with every step. Hange continued to kick the wall vigorously, her arms flailing over her head. It was ironic that she was still snoring, although the snores had turned into snorts somewhere along the way, her intakes of breath much quicker than before. And she was also still wearing her glasses; Levi internally cringed, because the lenses had gotten smudged in her struggle.

Under regular circumstances, the boy might have chuckled a bit at Hange's unconscious antics. But after a closer peer at her face, she was sweating considerably, and her face was devoid of all colour. In addition, she had her eyebrows furrowed, her mouth parted wide, as if she were inaudibly screaming. Levi sighed, his right hand raising up to pinch the bridge of his nose. Clearly, she hadn't yet expelled all of her inner demons.

"Hey, Four Eyes," the shorter trainee hissed.

Her movements did not falter.

"Wake up," he tried again.

But she merely caught her pillow into what he could only presume to be a headlock, shoving her fist into the soft cushion repeatedly. Levi scowled. His patience was wearing thin.

"Fucking hell, Hange, wake the - "

Unfortunately, when he reached out a hand to shake her shoulder, her unexpected reaction had him tumbling backward onto the floor, her kick agitating a dark bruise on his stomach. Hange cried out like a victorious soldier as she shook her head.

Levi stared at her through narrowed eyes, not the least bit amused. She became still all of a sudden, so Levi suspected that she might have been roused.

Alas, she had not.

_Oh. My. Fucking..._

Levi nursed the ache on his stomach with a gentle hand, face dark while he turned to leave the room, Hange having resumed her violent tussle.

Desperate times called for desperate measures.

Several minutes had soon passed when Levi reemerged from the hallway, armed with a broomstick and a glower.  _Not an easy riser, eh?_ he thought.

Levi stalked over to the side of Hange's bed. Her covers were now strewn haphazardly across the floor, forgotten, whilst she battled ferociously on the mattress. The boy wasted no time for hesitation, harshly poking her in the shoulder with the bristled end of his broom. She countered instantly, spinning around to grab the bundle of straw in her arms. It escalated into a game of tug-of-war fast, but Levi had the advantage that he was consciously aware of it. He yanked his end of the broom, his upper body strength rewarding him as she fell to the floor.

Then there was silence.

"Awake yet?" he asked. A muffled groan from Hange was his reply. With great reluctance she picked her head off the ground and rolled onto her back, hands grasped to her stomach. Her eyelids hesitated a little before popping open. The girl blinked up at him blearily, an awe-struck expression on her face.

"Le...vi? What...what are you doing here?" Levi dully returned her gaze.

"We share a hospital room," he reminded her. "I'm supposed to be-"

"Ah!" Hange interrupted him. She leaped to her feet, a little wobbly, but she righted herself by latching her fingers onto his shoulders. "Where are they?" she questioned, tone serious.

The shorter trainee's frown deepened. "Where are who?" She looked irritated by his confusion.

" _Them_!" she hissed, gesturing to the ceiling with one hand. She brought that hand back to grip his shoulder again. "The titans!" Levi blinked at her. He couldn't say he was surprised that her thoughts had taken her there, but absentmindedly he was dumbfounded as to what purpose a headlock would serve against a creature that large.

"There are no titans here, Shitty Glasses," he whispered. Hange growled.

"Don't play stupid with me now, Levi! Where are they? What happened?" She gave him a couple rough shakes that unbalanced him a little.

"Outside the wall where they are supposed to be, and you obviously had a nightmare," he told her, removing her hands. This was Levi's undoing, because she simply grabbed hold of his hands instead, studying his face with wide eyes, like she could not comprehend that he was speaking honestly. His eyes narrowed further, assuming it was even possible at this point.

"You were having a  _dream_ ," he emphasized, leaning into her face. "You were  _asleep_. Not soundly asleep, I might add, but still asleep." Hange blinked once more, and Levi took her puzzled state to pull himself away from her. He rubbed his temples, beginning a mental mantra that would aid the prevention of him punching her in the head.

"Then..." she continued, plopping back onto her bed, "what are you doing here?" She gave him a quizzical glance. Levi sighed.

"As I said before, I–"

"Because, you know, isn't it rude – " she yawned, cutting him off, " – to waltz up to a person's bed in the middle of the night and watch them sleep?"

Levi's eyes twitched.

" _You know_ ," he mimicked, "isn't it socially unacceptable to make noises that disturb peoples' sleep in the middle of the night, then accuse them of being a pervert when they get up to complain?" Hange screwed up her face.

"I was making noises?" The shorter trainer found himself in a quick development of the sudden urge to bash his head against the wall. However, he resisted this urge.

"When I woke up, you were lashing about on the bed like an animal and snoring like an old man. Also, you kept having an aggressive fistfight with the wall. I couldn't possibly go to sleep."

Hange's mouth formed a small 'o.' A nervous chuckle worked itself up from her throat.

"Ah...then...sorry for keeping you up," she said as she scratched her neck. "I'll try to..." But she couldn't think of anything to promise, so she simply regarded him with a dubious expression, shrugging. Levi scoffed at her.

"You look like shit," he remarked. She didn't bat an eye at him.

"Yeah?" she said. "Well, I suppose I certainly  _feel_ like 'shit.'" Hange surveyed his own appearance for a moment. "You don't exactly look very well-rested yourself." Levi lifted a shoulder, dismissing her comment.

Their conversation eventually halted in a long pause, and they stared at one another, unsure of what to say. Levi mentally debated whether he could just say 'goodnight,' but that wouldn't solve anything. She would just fall asleep, dark imagery still clouding her head, inevitably leading her into a second nightmare, and the process would repeat.

But he didn't know her well. It wasn't in his place to discuss her innermost fears, for he felt they cut far deeper than a sheer loathing of man-feasting monsters. Anyway, sometimes discussing it only stirred up these emotions. She needed to forget about them. That was his promise to her, after all - to ensure that she didn't let her feelings become a hindrance at crucial moments.

Levi dragged a hand over his face, sweeping his gaze around the room. Opposite him, Hange's eyes remained fixated with a small scratch on the ceiling. Levi noticed it, too; in fact he just about surmised their surroundings in one spoken sentence.

"This place is dirty as shit." Hange finally glanced at him, a corner of her mouth turning upward slightly.

"I suppose you want to clean it, then?" she teased. Levi met her eyes, facial features shifting into a stern expression, genuinely taking her question into consideration.

"I might as well. Not like I'm gonna get any sleep with you here, anyway."

"You do have a broom," Hange commented, flicking her gaze in the object's direction. Levi shook his head, eyeing the broom with a critical glare.

"I'm talking heavy duty scrubbing. The excuse of a hospital room this is is fucking pitiful." The girl pursed her lips.

"Our injuries aren't that bad, and this room is mostly a spare, since all of the other rooms are used up," she reasoned. Levi snorted.

"Who's to say we can't catch something in here? A disease, an infection, or some other screwed up shit. Are you trying to tell me you want any of that?" Hange giggled at him, but Levi wasn't anywhere near messing around. Soon enough, he got up and left again, the bespectacled trainee looking after him in amusement.

Levi made quick strides through the hallway to the janitor's closet he'd opened up earlier. From the state of it, the storage room itself hadn't been taken care of in a good couple of weeks. Dust particles littered the shelves, mildew cultivating in the upper corners, where water had leaked in through cracks in the ceiling, and cobwebs hung on the walls like finely woven banners.  _Disgusting,_  the petite boy mused as he sifted through the filth for a bucket and a sponge, his nose scrunched up against the stench.

He returned to the room after an approximated fifteen minutes spent thoroughly disinfecting his cleaning tools, the metal bucket filled to the brim with scalding hot water and soap. Hange, still perched at the edge of her bed, was biting her lip, attempting not to crack a smile at his obsessive behaviour, but failing miserably. Levi set down the bucket with impossible precision and swiftness. It made a loud thump against the floor.

"Is there something funny about this situation, Shitty Glasses?" He noticed her staring bluntly at his mouth and neck, which were shielded by a white handkerchief, then switching her gaze to the pink floral-patterned bandanna wrapped around his head. She quit trying to restrain herself, so she released her bottom lip and laughed openly.

"Not...not at all, Levi," she forced out, heaving large breaths in the pauses between her cackles. Levi slit his eyes at her, irritated by her reaction. So at the end of his search for head protection, he'd only managed to find these two cloths; that wasn't his fault. There had been nothing else available at the time. Was he supposed to ignore a perfectly functional, clean pair of smocks, just for their appearance?

"Do you have a problem with my head wear?" he asked coldly. She grinned at him, using her hands to remove her weight from her bed. The brunette approached him carefully, examining him with deliberating eyes. She stopped a couple of inches in front of him and bent her knees to meet his height. He continued to glare at her, their eyes locked, his hostile and hers curious, him increasingly annoyed. Finally, she squeezed her eyes shut, her mouth spreading wider from ear to ear as she placed a hand on his head, giving it a pat.

"I think it's a good look for you," she replied. "It balances out your edginess. Cute." Levi felt a growl forming in his throat.

"Tch,  _flattering_." He clamped his hand over her wrist and took her hand off of his head.

Hange's laughter made a reappearance as he turned away to pull on a white pair of gloves. She was apparently a rather animated person when entertained; she kept slapping her thighs with each giggle, keeled over and everything. She also seemed to be the type of person that snorted when they laughed. Levi wasn't convinced whether he should chuckle or feel mildly repulsed. Then again, that happened to be a recurring pattern in his interactions with the girl, as few as they may have been.

"Keep laughing, Bloody Specs," he said tartly. And she did, actually. So, while she busied herself attempting to regain her breath, he decided to get to work.

Levi dragged the full bucket to a corner of the room. He then dunked the sponge in it and got down on his knees to start scraping it over the wall.

Behind him, Hange had sat herself back on the end of her mattress. He felt her gaze practically burning into the back of his head, observing him with great intent. After a little of his cleaning and a little more of her staring, he dropped his sponge and slowly turned to look at her over his shoulder. She didn't avert her gaze. In fact, it was as though her intrigue had peaked, for Hange beamed at him, waving her hand.

Levi's shoulders sank. He sighed.

"What exactly interests you, Shitty Glasses?" he queried.

"Oh, many things," she replied, eyes still wide and wondering. Levi smacked his forehead. Did he really have to spell it out for her?

"I  _mean_ ," he rephrased, "what is so interesting about  _me_ , right now?" This seemed to clarify things; she gave him a nod of understanding.

"I'm thinking of the potential origins for your obsession with cleanliness," she stated. "There must be some sort of psychology behind it." Levi blinked at her.

"Really, now?" he said with mock curiosity. He faced the wall again, allowing her to continue, but still decidedly indifferent as he resumed his cleaning.

"Yes," she replied. From the boisterous tone her voice now acquired, the topic was a cause for excitement within her. "To your knowledge, when did you first develop the urge to clean?" Levi knit his eyebrows together, lips thinned.

"I don't know, a couple of years ago?" he grunted, shaking his head. Hange, however, was not satisfied by his generalization.

"Can you be more specific?" she insisted. Levi felt a shudder of annoyance pass through him.

"What the hell does it matter?" he hissed, whirling around. Her questions admittedly weren't all that intrusive, but Levi wasn't fond of how freakishly curious she seemed all of a sudden. He'd grown a bit accustomed to her loud, eccentric, melodramatic traits, as well as her darker, brooding, hateful undercurrents. But he had not noticed any implications to suggest that she could be this prying. Her other flaring characteristics and mannerisms were enough of a hassle as they were.

Hange's own eyebrows furrowed at his response. It was unfortunate that his slight anger didn't deter her from pursuing the subject.

"Levi, my analysis won't be accurate if you don't provide me with the details."

_Analysis?_

"What are you, some kinda quack doctor?" Levi puffed.

"I'd like to think of it more like acting scientist," she retorted. The boy grit his teeth.  _Great, on top of everything else, you're a fucking know-it-all,_  he thought.

"Are all scientists such a bother or are you one of their special ones?" From the way her face twitched, Hange looked a little offended.  _Good. Maybe she'll shut up._

"How else would scientists learn anything if not by asking lots of questions?"  _Guess not._  Levi sighed. He couldn't comprehend what her deal was. Maybe the late hour was making her hysterical. Either that, or she desperately wished to distract herself from the fragments of her dreams lingering in her thoughts.

Levi didn't look at her, he just kept scrubbing a particularly stubborn portion of the wall, but he decided to offer an explanation.

"I don't remember when exactly," he murmured. "But I realized the world is a filthy place. If only in a weird, twisted way, I thought it would be nice to clean it up."  _And I was sick of how 'red' my hands were back then..._

He took her silence as her time to mull this over. At this point, he remembered her rank in the top ten, and wondered if her being so nosy had earned her top scores for intelligence. It was quite possible. Something he learned during their hand-to-hand combat was that her moves were very creative, and considerably flexible to changes in his tactics. They were executed with precision, yes, but also with a basis of scrutiny and interpretation. Pair that with her inquisitiveness, and it all made sense. She appeared to be fairly clever.

Hange had a grave expression on her face. Levi discerned that she might have taken his slightly cryptic words to heart, and was a bit concerned whether it had triggered some of her grim, buried emotions. He decided to take the weight off of their conversation, in favor of a lighter chat.

"What were your scores during the final written exams, Four Eyes?" he asked. He was currently crab walking to the next section of the wall, watching the grime fade away with each scrape of his sponge.

"Huh?" Hange blurted out, startled. "Oh, well..." She tapped her chin. "On the first two exams I got a 98, and the last I got a 99. Ah, I made a stupid mistake on the last one. The first and second I missed a question - I was pretty caught up on one of the long answers - so I lost marks on them, too..."

Levi raised an eyebrow. She was still smarter than he predicted. Scatterbrained, yet smart nevertheless. Of course, he himself wasn't an idiot. He was never an academic, but he had good intuition and practical skills. He'd gotten a decent mark during testing, although it was mostly his skills on the maneuver gear during practice that bumped him up to the top.

"I see," he replied.

"Say, Levi," Hange said, changing the subject. He lifted his head in acknowledgment. "I noticed that you missed the top corner, there. Why?"

Levi stiffened.  _Is she...?_ Was she  _mocking_  him, now? He didn't peg her as one of "those" people _._  It was true that she mentioned his stature upon their first meeting, but she'd been more worked up at the time. He didn't care anymore if she questioned him, but she must have been pretty  _bold_  to think she could start being a jackass.

No matter; he wasn't going to dignify her with a response. He merely shot her a glare over his shoulder.

Hange looked oddly confused by this, which continued to aggravate him. She had proven thus far to not understand when she was stomping over uncharted territory, and it was quickly becoming one of the things he disliked about her. Even more brazen, she stood up and made her way over to him, grabbing his sponge and stretching herself up to the ceiling, leaning onto the tips of hers toes as she roughly cleansed the top of the wall - where Levi could not reach. When she was finished, she beamed at him, placing the sponge back in his still-open palm.

The boy narrowed his eyes. He wished his soap were effective in wiping stupid grins off of stupid faces.

"What the hell was that?" he demanded. She frowned, eyes reflecting her cluelessness.

"I helped you," she replied. "Was that wrong of me?" It was Levi's turn to frown.

"No." Did she seriously not get it?

"There's nothing to be ashamed of, Levi."  _Nope, she got it._  Levi sighed, massaging his temples with two fingers. She rested a gentle hand on his shoulder and glanced knowingly at his face. "So you can't reach tall places. Just use a step-ladder. Or I could pick you up, if you prefer." Levi's scowl deepened.

"That won't be necessary," he said coolly. But Hange still donned that annoying air of confusion.  _How dense can she be?_   Was she teasing him? She looked honest enough. So was she being genuinely aware of his height, with no jokes attached?

"Levi, do you have 'Little Man Syndrome?'"  _No, she is definitely shitting me._

If looks could kill, Levi's eyes would have pierced the brunette clean through her own.

"Excuse me?" he spat.

"Ah, Mike suggested it."  _Of course he did._  "It sparked a great discussion among the other trainees." Levi crossed his arms, arching a brow in her direction. Her eyes were wide behind her white-framed goggles.

"Oh?" Levi asked, a hint of bitter curiosity in his tone. Hange nodded. "And what did they say?"

"They were betting that you wouldn't try to get anything from a top shelf until nobody else was around, so you could use the step-ladder without getting made fun of. And also, they were questioning the exact specifications of your height. Mike guessed that you wear padding in your boots to give you an extra inch, and the lowest that people bet was that you're actually 152 cm."

Levi's body trembled against the surge of angry tension in his muscles.  _Assholes. All of them._

"And what was your bet, Shitty Glasses?" Hange stared at him blankly.

"I don't make bets, but I took their hypotheses into consideration. I like finding things out for myself, you know? I figured 152 was a bit of a stretch, though, to be honest. But, what is it, Levi? Do you do any of those things?"

"I  _don't_  have 'Little Man Syndrome,' or whatever those fucks said. They should quit dicking around and mind their own damned business. Same goes for you, Shitty Glasses." The brunette pursed her lips. Levi doubted that she caught any of the dripping venom in his voice.

"You don't need to feel insecure," she chided. "You're a league ahead of all of us, and they're all scared of you, anyway."

"Whoever said I was insecure? I already know I don't have to worry about those shits. It'd just be more pleasant if they quit being such assholes." Levi stepped aside from her, moving onto the next part of the wall. He could hear her feet inching after him, thus the stony expression he wore never retreated.

"You're actually kind of a loner, huh?" she asked. He felt like throwing her another death glare, but when he turned to look at her, he could tell that she was just being innocently oblivious, yet again. He wasn't sure if he could manage this strange habit of hers.

"You'll find it easier, that way," he replied. She lifted both eyebrows at him, searching for a further elaboration. He sighed and set down his sponge to see her fully. "It'll be less painful when you're forced to watch your comrades die. Not by much, but enough to keep you functional during battle." He hadn't intended it this way, but somehow their loopy midnight banter had descended into a foreboding finality. So much for distracting Hange from her dreams; if he had to make his own wager, it was that their contents had concerned much of their past conversation.

Hange settled herself down into a squat, her hands grasped in front of her as her gaze fell to the ground.

"But it would get depressing, not having any memories of the people around you, besides the details of their death. Maybe I am a fool, but I'd rather have something to keep in mind, to keep people alive in my thoughts for as long as I live. Even if they die, I want to remember their values, to help me push forward for a better future. That doesn't sound wrong, does it?"

Their eyes met at this, not quite able to read past the others thoughtful mask.

"Just...do what you know you won't regret," Levi told her. Hange smiled half-heartedly.

"There's no way you can truly know that, is there?" The boy stared at her, but he didn't offer any other response. Hange chuckled. "Well," she went on, clapping his shoulder, "I'll always remember you as the guy who stayed up cleaning when he couldn't get to sleep."

"And I'll remember you as the girl who snores and wears her glasses when she sleeps," Levi scoffed. Hange's mouth gaped.

"Oh, I forgot about these!" she exclaimed, tugging the elastic band of her goggles off of her brown-haired head. She gazed at them in amazement. Levi chuckled dryly.

"Go to sleep, Four Eyes." Hange glanced up at him. Understanding that he was being sincere, she gave him a nod and got up to flop back over onto her bed, tossing her glasses beneath its frame.

Levi made certain that she had herself all settled under her blankets before he continued his task of cleaning. She whirled around a couple of times, no doubt to adjust her body to a comfortable position, until she let out a sigh of contentment.

"Hmmm, Levi?" she hummed.

"I thought you were going to sleep."

"You're not going to die, right?"

Levi raised his head.

"I haven't made any immediate plans."

"That's good to hear." Hange stretched her arms, yawning loudly. Levi watched as her eyes carefully fluttered shut. "I can't think of anyone else that can make that promise with as much honesty." The boy wiped his brow.

"Goodnight, Shitty Glasses."

"Goodnight, Levi."

* * *

This time around, Hange dreamed of freedom. Levi worked dutifully as she slept, before the extreme late hours of the night that bordered on the morning, when he too hit the hay. And he dreamed only in black.

* * *

"Erwin's speech was a scary wake-up call, huh?"

It was midway through their second night in the hospital, and Levi had moved on from the walls to the windows, polishing them until they sparkled, whilst Hange was leaned back against the foot of her bed, watching him, just talking about everything and nothing.

Levi didn't mind. She'd been worried about having another bad dream, so she hoped that by babbling on and on, she would distract herself and tire herself out. And when she derailed the conversation into her more quirky ramblings, he could put most of his focus on the dry spots staining the glass.

But this off-handed question captured his attention. He paused, averting his impassive gaze to the girl with glasses.

"He said what was required," he replied. "Those who aren't prepared for the risk of death don't belong on the front lines."

Today had been the ceremony of welcoming the rookie troops into their chosen positions. Due to their battered states, Erwin had gone to them personally to get Levi and Hange's decisions. It was more for Hange's sake, seeing as Levi had no say in which group he would be assigned to, but his speech had been a strong reminder to him as well. Levi had taken it easily; he understood his odds; it wouldn't matter either way. Chance the possibility of getting eaten by a titan, or rot in prison. Those were the choices specific to him.

Hange had been shaken only marginally. As expected, she gave Erwin a solid salute and an oath to perform to the best of her abilities, should it help mankind in their struggle. Erwin had openly regarded respect for her bravery, offered a stern glance to Levi, and then left.

Now the girl was resting her head on her shoulder, gazing off into a pictured distance. Her face looked peaceful with her eyes half-lidded.

"I guess that's true," she yawned. Levi nodded. They settled into a comfortable silence, broken solely by the sounds of scrubbing on Levi's part. Hange clucked her tongue, presumably in thought, when she spoke again.

"What were you up to today, Levi?"

During the day and since morning, each of them had split off to their own devices, seeing as they were only required to be present in the hospital at night because their injuries were very minor. Neither of them had spotted the other throughout their activities.

"I was cleaning the room from yesterday," he answered. "The wood in that floor was ruined, no thanks to Mike's ignorance." Hange giggled.

"I was hanging out with Mike, earlier. He thinks you're going to beat him up."

"And what made him think that?"

"I told him about me telling you that he made fun of your height. I also told him you now have it in for him. He's more scared than you'd think." A noise of derision hitched from the back of Levi's throat.

"I won't touch him, but let him think I will, if he's so afraid of me. Serves him right for gossiping." Hange began laughing again.

"You might not know this, but he has a keen sense of smell - like a dog man. Maybe he'll think he can sniff you out before you come and get him." She laughed harder when she noticed Levi's practically imperceptible smirk.

Overall, their second night in the hospital had been multitudes less severe than the first. It was filled with idle, friendly chatter that held little meaning for either of them, but did help Hange get through her hours of sleep, and Levi kill the time while he cleaned. They spoke of things (well, Hange did most of the speaking; Levi mainly listened and made small comments occasionally) like the other trainees and training in the Academy, steering clear of tougher subjects, such as their future and their pasts.

On this night, they both fell asleep, Hange on her bed and Levi on the floor, arm soaked in his bucket.

* * *

At last the third night arrived. The doctor tending to them had confirmed that their bruises were healing up nicely, but informed Levi to keep an eye on his broken finger and not remove its wrapping until two weeks from then, when he would check in at the hospital once more.

The past two full nights of Levi's presence in the room had deemed it spotless from floor to ceiling. He also insisted that Hange let him bring her sheets to the sink to wash them, after he'd been finished with his own. She agreed with him, but he sensed that it was to humour him. It didn't really matter; they were getting laundered whether she'd accepted or not.

With nothing else to scrub, Levi found himself aimlessly pacing the room in search of one last hidden cover of dust or blotchy stain, Hange sitting at the foot of her bed as usual.

She was uncharacteristically quiet, tonight. She seemed disclosed to their regular banter, more subdued. It was preferable to her tackling her pillow, but still considerably off. Levi turned to face her, studying her lost expression.

"Hey, Four Eyes. Not feeling chatty tonight?"

Now he was certain that something was troubling her. She didn't even spare a glance in his general direction. Her gaze remained fixed on an undetermined point on the ground. Levi sighed, opening his mouth to try again, but she cut him off.

"What do you think titans are like?"

Levi blinked. Hange hadn't brought anything so gruesome into their nightly discussions until now, so he was surprised. Although, this was their last night, and possibly the last time they would spend any measurable time together. It was unlikely that they would be placed in the same squad; Commander Shadis would want to spread his top tens as thinly as possible among each group, so that everyone would be provided with a skilled soldier as their aid. Maybe all of these mindless distractions and pointless talk had been her lead-up to asking the real questions.

The boy leaned against the wall.

"I  _know_  that they're a hell of a lot bigger than us, and can get bigger. I also know that they like to dine on human flesh." Hange shot him a glare.

"That's not what I meant," she snapped. "I meant, what do you think...what do you think it's like to fight them? Don't tell me it's like training, because we both know that that's not the case." A snort evaded Levi's impassive resolve.

"Like moving targets, only these will actually try to kill us." Hange was clearly not satisfied with this response. Levi narrowed his eyes at her. "What should I tell you? We'll find out soon enough."

"Are you afraid?"

Levi felt himself tense. Her voice was hushed and uncertain, just a small part wavering. The boy closed his eyes.

"Are you?" he countered calmly.

"You didn't answer my question."

"Neither did you mine."

Their gazes clashed, Hange's too impassioned, Levi's too frosty for either of them to relent. However, Levi understood quickly that the troublesome Four Eyes would shatter her glasses with the force of her stare before she let this go. He had to offer her a proper reply. So he exhaled sharply.

"You'd have to be a fucking extremely self-sacrificial idiot to say you're not even a little intimidated by the thought of going up against titans - beasts that devour people alive. But then you'd also have to be an idiot to let that fear choke you." In short, Levi admitted he wasn't worry-free. When Erwin had related to them the slim statistics for survival, the situation had definitely become a lot more real. He was merely human, after all, despite all of the things he'd experienced and the things he'd had to carry out.

Hange bobbed her head glumly.

"Yeah," she mumbled. "I don't feel so confident either." Levi sighed.

"Oi, Shitty Glasses," he grumbled. "There's a difference between being scared and not being confident. Combining the two is just a recipe for disaster." Hange regarded him with a quizzical expression. He sat back on his bed, rubbing his face with both hands and tracing the thick bags beneath his eyes. "Ugh, you're apparently smart as shit, but it looks like I'll have to spell this out for you. You need...to use your fear as an advantage." Hange perked up at this, her eyes twinkling in interest. Levi continued on.

"When you're afraid, all your senses are awake. You get this rush inside you. Now you can either let that take control over you, or you can channel it into doing what you need to do. But if you're not sure of yourself, even showing a second of hesitation, you're - " Levi twisted his foot against the floor, " - dead." He raised his eyebrows at her. Hange's own brows formed a crease in her forehead as she stared at the imaginary squashed bug under his toes. Then her facial features smoothed.

"It's that easy, huh?" she said, chuckling. "You sound like someone who's done this before."

"In a way," the boy grunted, casually avoiding her eyes. Hange squinted them at him in a skeptical gesture, but thankfully didn't press him for an explanation.

"Are you going to keep your promise?" she inquired instead. Her features were open and expectant. Levi's mouth tugged into such a faint smile, it could have been a grimace.

"I can't say I'm a guy of many oaths, but I can keep mine to you. Though, if you lose your head, just know that I won't be the only one smacking you in the face, and probably won't be the first." Hange's laughter reverberated around the room, hearty and genuine.

"You must think so little of me, Levi," she choked through her giggles. "Like I'm some sort of pest." Levi shot her a look.

"Did I make it that obvious?" he scoffed. Hange took his sharp comments in stride, laughing almost endlessly, as Levi watched her, a shredded glint of amusement in his narrow blue eyes.

"Well," Hange said, her cheeks taking the semblance of a chipmunk's whilst she took a large gulp of air, simmering down, "I doubt we'll even see each other after this, until our first mission, at least. So, I won't bother you for much longer - unless I see you, of course."

"Should I consider that a blessing?" The brunette stuck her tongue out at him, eyes crinkling up with her grin.

"You also made another promise to me," she remembered aloud, her voice sobering. Levi puffed out a breath.

"Don't spread me too thin, now."

"Don't die."

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose, a light, dry chuckle escaping him. Hange narrowed her brown eyes at him.

"You make it sound like we've been friends for years, or some married couple or something." The girl closed two fists around the wrinkles in her bed spread.

"I told you, already. You're the closest thing to someone I know that has a shot at surviving; you and Mike. I need at least two people to count on. I already know that many others might die, and it's probably selfish of me, but it wouldn't hurt to put my faith into the other top-ranking trainees. Us top three should have each others backs."

Levi considered her proposition. He was more than assured of his own skills, but titan territory was treacherous, titans themselves being highly unpredictable. It wouldn't endanger him to have an ally. He was aware of her capabilities as well; graduating from the Academy with the third spot could not have been a simple task. In addition, she was intelligent. A strategist would prove a suitable partner.

Yet, she was also a hot-blooded character. So, he would be forced to rely on her conditionally.

"Then you have a deal, Four Eyes," he said finally. Hange thinned her lips, studying him, still not appeased, even with his agreement.

"So you're not going to take any risks. You  _are_ going to live." Levi's intuition advised him that she was giving him an order, not merely digging for more confirmation. If he had been the reckless boy he was several years ago, he would have thought 'to hell with her.' He used to thrive on his impulses and his gut. But Levi knew she would have to feel at ease with him to trust him, and for him to return the favor. He could not predict with certainty how he would react to circumstances outside the walls, though he decided he should say so for Hange's sake.

"I will," he told her, looking her firmly in the eyes. Lying without remorse was another thing he'd picked up on the streets.

She held his gaze. Whether she bought his minor deceit or not was debatable.

"Good. I can sleep soundly tonight." Hange didn't give him any reason to suspect that she had read through his lie. Perhaps she was a practiced liar herself.

Regardless, the girl threw herself onto her empty mattress, forgetting that she'd have no blankets to cover herself with. She let out a contented breath as she snuggled her head into her pillow and slipped into sleep almost instantly.

Levi knew he couldn't ever sleep as lacking in regret as Hange. But then, by the time their first mission was out, he doubted any human being with even a fraction of a conscience would get any rest. Soon they would all share the trait of his dark eyelids and sleep-deprived alertness. He figured he would try anyway, so he sat down on his own bed and stared at the ceiling, musing over stupid things like the chips in the paint and exposed crevices in the concrete. He also tried to block out Hange's awful snores. And, after an estimated twenty minutes, his mind-numbing, distracting thoughts soothed him to typical half-awareness.

* * *

In the wee hours of the morning, Levi was the first to stir. He spared Hange's laying form a simple glance. She would likely awaken an hour later. His odd, quirk-riddled comrade. Levi's mouth twitched, and he sighed.

He couldn't stay. He would get dressed and get to cleaning the cafeteria before breakfast. And, within the next several days, the Recon rookies would pack their belongings and move to their new home in the Survey Corps headquarters.

"Tch."

_A busy week to come._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi is a bitch to write. you don't, you don't even understand how fucking painful it is to try and put myself in his head. "what would he say, how would he say it, what would he think, how would he think it, what would he do, how would he do it, what what what, how how how" *coughs* ignore my writer's complaints. i hope he didn't turn out bad or OOC, though, because OOC Levi just isn't right at all.
> 
> next chapter I'm switching to Hanji's POV. she's pretty much my kinda girl, so hopefully she'll be a lot more comfortable to write. also, their first excursion will either be in the third chapter or the fourth, depending on how i'm feelin.


	3. True Wings of Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Series Summary: Their relationship was as abnormal as the titans themselves. But with it came a sort of bliss. Over the years, their bond grows and develops into something of complexity and simplicity all at once. And it all began with a round of combat.
> 
> Chapter Summary: Hange reflects on her past and thinks of her future, and all the choices she'd made, leading her up to everything. She shares in good conversation with good friends, all of them preparing for their first mission as official soldiers. But there are rumors about a particular hard-eyed soldier with a short stature and a penchant for cleanliness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO YES IT IS ME, WITH A NEW CHAPTER. FINALLY.
> 
> but yeah im sorry for making you all wait. it's just that this chapter is semi-fillerish and it was so hard to get done, but im finally finished and im so relieved, because now i can get to the fun stuff to write. im really not going to promise anything, but judging by the content of the fourth chapter, it should be done in maybe a month??
> 
> ANYWAY ENJOY MES AMIS

"You are an idiot, Michael Zacharius."

Hange tossed an eye-roll of mock criticism at her fellow rookie as they lounged together on the roof of the Survey Corps Headquarters, overlooking the vast plains stretched out below them, far distant from the corralled territory behind the Walls. It was an agreeable day concerning the two of them. Having since escaped from the barked orders and strenuous drills of the Academy, and not yet assigned with any duties besides remaining on the lookout for approaching titans, they were relishing this afternoon of rest. They had arrived at the old castle a few days earlier with the rest of the Survey Corps' newest soldiers and were just getting used to the stony monument.

Accompanying them on the roof were a handful of other comrades from their trainee days, all languidly swapping small tales of current events to kill the time. Mike in particular had just related to them his first drinking experience with several veteran scouts.

Hange clucked her tongue in disapproval. Mike's eyebrows furrowed at her, his mouth falling ajar in defense.

"Hey, there's nothin' wron' with a...a good time," he protested. His words were notably sluggish, as though he were working his tongue around marbles. Hange scrutinized her friend's dark eyelids and glazed eyes with a snort. She shook her head at him.

"I can't believe they let you, though, considering the fact that you're underage." Following a pause and a tilt of her head, she added, "And you clearly can't hold your liquor." She grinned teasingly at the boy.

"I resent you sayin' tha..." Mike retorted with a pout. "I can hold my liquor like..." His pursed lips twisted into a frown as he squinted his eyes against - presumably - a headache.

"Mhm?" Hange pressed, eyebrows raised.

"Dammit, I'm so hungover!" her friend yelled abruptly, throwing his face into his large hands. He slouched forward in his seating position, a low groan leaving his throat. Hange cackled madly at the tall scout and gave him a clap on the back.

"Mike, remind me to always come drinking with you," joked another girl near them - a blonde with shortly cropped hair.

"I second that, Nanaba," Hange chirped, still heartily smacking his shoulders. Nanaba mirrored her mischievous smirk as Mike cursed at them.

"You girls are evil children," he mumbled in his post-drunken stupor.

"We're glad you know we love you, Michael," the brunette female replied, her slaps easing into slow pats. He simply pouted again.

"Quit usin' my full name, 'Ange. You already act enough like my mother." She pressed her tongue and lips together, forcing air through them to make them vibrate in a wet noise of derision. Mike scoffed at her immaturity.

Nanaba chuckled as she settled herself next to Hange. The blonde was a good friend of hers during the Academy. They were two of the considerable minority of girls in their trainee squad who had decided to enlist in the Survey Corps; most of the others had opted for the Military Police or the Stationary Guard. Since their first year, however, Nanaba and Hange were both firmly established in their desires for freedom from the Walls - Hange for the thrill of the great unknown and Nanaba because there was 'nothing more interesting' to do. Subsequently, the pair had easily found a friendship between them. And Mike had been quite attracted (in a platonic sense) to the girls' strong will yet easygoing dispositions from the beginning of his interactions with them. It helped that they were fond of his own quirks in turn. Altogether, they formed a friendly trio.

"I haven't seen any o' those ugly ass-titans around," Mike noted, changing the subject.

Hange visibly tensed at the mention of said savages. A fabricated memory from her dreams flickered mockingly in her head.

She and the other Academy graduates had not yet witnessed their first titans. When Hange had traveled with the rookies to the castle, they'd taken advantage of the nighttime shadows in the forests outside the walls as they stealthily leaped through the branches on their maneuver gear, so they did not come face-to-face with any man-eating giants.

From her vantage point up high on the castle's roof, the brunette could peer out at the landscape as far as the horizon, and yet observed not a single approaching speck of massive, regenerative bodies in the distance. The castle was built strategically on a wide, sloping hill, so that the scouts would have a clear view of any titans on all sides, the altitude useful for slowing their enemies down. Yet today the land was unnervingly silent.

One of the many things that contributed to Hange's enlisting was her burning curiosity. She was fearful of that which strayed from her level of comprehension, and titans were at the top of that list. It compelled her to experience firsthand the terror that forced humanity to cower inside the Walls over eighty years ago.

Almost all her life, Hange had been a traveler, roaming in between districts with her father after her mother's death, yet there had always existed that infuriating barrier, preventing her from exploring the outside world. Because, after all, the lands within each Wall only stretched so far until after you'd trekked them a number of times, you began storing to impeccable memory the shapes and contours of every trodden path.

The three Walls weren't sufficient to contain the wild brunette, anymore. She wanted to discover uncharted territory. However, the thought that something could be so powerful as to keep the human race caged in like it had been for so many decades was terrifying; it made her uneasy even at the current moment. But Hange knew that everything tended to lose its fear factor once it was better understood (a lesson she'd learned after pulling apart a spider limb-from-limb).

Her curiosity had first been nurtured by her father. He had been an intelligent man - an eccentric inventor with the knowledge of everything inside the Walls and more. Since he was already well-versed in all the details of the territories within the Walls, his primary goal in life was to learn of the great beyond. However, he was too clumsy and uncoordinated to become a scout, so he had a family instead.

But François Hange paid his taxes to the Legion eagerly, without ever a complaint, even going so far as to send them small donations whenever he had the money to spare. He believed so passionately in the scouts' mission statement of freedom that it was unconsciously instilled in his only child's young mind as well (along with countless other quirks of his). Unfortunately, he died in a street accident when Hange was twelve - trampled by a horse and wagon. So, after the incident, Hange decided it was her calling to become a member of the Survey Corps. She even took on their surname as her standard, preferred title – she felt 'Zoë' was too personal.

Clutching the ends of her own 'wings of freedom' cape in that moment on top of the roof with her good friends, finally released from the cage that was the three great Walls and reveling in the fresh pine air, she could not imagine having made a sounder choice.

Unfortunately, the anxiety churning a river of nausea in her stomach at the mention of the titans would never cease until she met one herself. And if the day that that would occur was the present, she was uncertain how she would react.

"No titans, no work for us," she stated in answer to Mike.

And yet as much as she wanted to be thankful for that fact, a part of her yearned to tear her down the middle in its desire for her first real battle. Hange always had a fighter's spirit; her curiosity demanded it of her, since it roped her into trouble more times than she could count. When she was younger, it lead her into battles with boys; titans were a mere upgrade from that. She never could tolerate bullies, regardless of what size or form they were. Redemption and fury was the fuel for her drive for justice.

But now, it was anger and fear that coiled around in her guts.

"Still..." Mike drawled, "...it'd be nice to get a warm-up 'fore our first mission. I hope we at least get our hands on one big, ugly bastard."

"If we do, I'll kill it," Hange deadpanned, a layer of ice in her tone.

"Come on, Hange – you already got first crack at combat," her friend chuckled.

"That was against a human, not a titan," she retorted.

With a lazy, sweeping glance, Nanaba's pale blue gaze narrowed in on an old bruise that spotted Hange's jaw.

"Yeah, say, Hange," the blonde remarked, "you got this during your fight with the prodigy boy, right?" She flicked a finger in gesture to the small wound. The bespectacled girl blinked.

"Probably," she responded wryly, waving the other girl off. Nanaba's eyebrow rose slowly into an arch.

"You know, you never did tell us much about your fight with the top gun," Mike commented, running a finger across his stubble.

"There's nothing to talk about," Hange told them truthfully. At their looks of doubt, she continued: "You guys think it was this big thing, but it wasn't. We beat each other up, then we became friends - " Hange paused, mouth pursing in thought " - I think."

"Well, that's a sweet story, but we're mostly interested in how many hits ya got in."

Hange smirked. "You saw his face that night, didn't you?"

"Right..." Mike responded with a grimace. "Wasn't a spot on his face tha'  _wasn't_ colourful." The brown-eyed female nodded, an innocent smile spreading over her face as sunlight glinted against her goggles.

"So what's his story, anyway?" idly asked Nanaba. Hange shrugged.

"Your guess is as good as mine. He's pretty silent about his life. But then, he's not really that talkative, anyway."

"Silent people 'old the deepest secrets," Mike ominously remarked. Hange snorted.

"That's obvious." The boy's thoughtful expression did not falter.

"Deep secrets are usually dark secrets," he continued. "Whah was that sayin', again? About people havin' skeletons in their...graveyard?" Nanaba grinned at Mike's hungover confusion.

"In their closet," she corrected.

"Yeah."

Hange knitted her eyebrows together in realization.

"Are you suggesting that Levi might have a dark past?" she queried.

"I'm suggestin' there must be a reason he never mentions anything about himself, so...yes."

"Hmm..."

"Has he said anything strange to you?" Nanaba questioned. "You did spend three nights in the same room, after all."

Levi  _was_ a rather cryptic individual – Hange did not doubt that. He had been wary of her whenever she'd asked him anything even remotely personal. He was also quite harsh at times, although he seemed to mean well, but when they fought, there had been a certain cruelty about him that often surpassed her mere blind rage.

He was cold and distant. Would she concur that he had had a rather troubling youth, then? It was quite possible. But then...

"Why would he join the Survey Corps?" Mike shrugged his shoulders.

"To run away from his past, maybe? Or to make a clean start?" he guessed.

"I've seen him talking to Erwin more times than you'd normally expect for a rookie," a new voice interjected. The three of them glanced up to see one of the other former members of their trainee squad approaching: a boy with messy, dark blonde hair and brown eyes by the name of Frederick Spitzer, whom everyone referred to as 'Freddie.'

"Really?" Hange's tone was one of skepticism. Freddie was a good kid and friends with many of the new recruits, herself included, but he had an awful habit of exaggerating his stories, albeit usually for comic relief. Also, she remembered that when Erwin went to meet her and Levi in the hospital, he had only spoken very briefly to Levi, if at all. But perhaps that had been deliberate?

"It's true. Someone told me they heard Levi's going to be on the Captain's squad," he insisted. Three sets of eyes widened before him.

"But he's just a rookie!" Mike exclaimed.

"Even if he's number one, he has no experience whatsoever on the field," Hange added. "He can't possibly handle an intensive mission in a commanding squad."

"Can't he?" Freddie asked, his voice lilting impishly, piquing their interests. But Hange was still not convinced.

"He joined the academy three years ago with everyone else. He cannot have more experience than that," she stated.

"Au contraire, Hange Zoë," Freddie replied, grinning. The boy threw a glance over his shoulder at one of the other rookies. "Say, Robert."

Another boy, with strictly-cut dark brown hair and hard, hazel eyes marched over to the group.

"Yes?" Robert greeted.

"What was that you said about Levi, again?"

Robert kept his chin up, his hands clasped together behind his back; he was a soldier even on break.

"I said he looks like a criminal, Spitzer," he replied bluntly. Hange laughed at the stoic teenager.

"So now someone can be convicted of a crime just for looking like they might have committed one?" Amusement tickled her words.

"To be fair, Zoë," – Hange cringed at Robert's use of her real first name – "he is quite frightening." The stern boy's face was unflappably expressionless as always, despite his words, his murky brown-green eyes boring straight into the vacant space in front of him.

"You guys are overreacting." Hange shook her head at them. "The worst thing Levi can do on a normal day is spend five hours scrubbing walls until his hands bleed."  _And on a day where you provoke him, kick you in the stomach a few times,_  she added mentally, suppressing a wince.

"Even so," Mike grunted, "that neat freak has been giving me the meanest glares for the past whole week."

Hange ducked her head to conceal her smirk with her bangs, attempting to stifle the mirth rising up from her throat. Since she'd informed the shortest scout of Mike's jokes at his expense, it was true that he hadn't been treating the much taller boy all too civilly.

"I can smell you smiling, Hange," Mike coughed. The girl giggled.

"I forgot to tell you – it turns out Levi doesn't wear pads in his boots to make himself look taller," she announced smugly. Her friend rolled his eyes. "And anyway, former criminal or not, he's still a skilled addition to the Survey Corps, so I don't see the big deal."

"Kiss-up," Mike muttered. With a firm fist to his shoulder from Hange, he and the rest of the group remained silent on the matter.

After a mere handful of seconds, Freddie plopped down next to Mike on his other side and began chattering on about another piece of gossip for them to comment on.

The remaining portion of the day continued like this, minus their break for dinner, still no titans in sight for any of the rooftop rookies to fend off. It ended as a peaceful day for them, leaving them to contemplate tomorrow and the days following.

And Hange - she pushed the obscure Levi to the back of her mind for the time being.

* * *

"Squad Leader."

A stern greeting.

"Why have you called me here, Commander?"

An indifferent response.

"I'm still concerned about your suggestion to place that underground thug on your squad."

Silence.

"Smith?"

"I can assure you, Commander, that he is precisely where he needs to be."

Frustrating ambiguity.

"Do you not trust that anyone else can keep a good eye on him?"

Annoyance.

"Quite the contrary. I trust that they will keep too much of an eye on him. We cannot afford to waste his expertise under the command of a wary leader who will suffocate his movements on the field."

A calculated composure.

"So you trust him with the lives of his comrades? He fought with an Academy classmate just last week. He's unpredictable."

Suspicion.

"You cannot be so paranoid as to suspect him of treason. His choice was either here or a decade in prison. I already reprimanded him for that incident; he knows the consequences. He's not an idiot, Commander Shadis."

Sheer confidence.

"Even so...he is only seventeen. He may have known how to use the maneuver gear effectively before he even entered the Academy, but battling thugs is very different from battling titans."

Uncertainty.

"He will be able to hold his own. His Academy instructor informed me that he would rate his 3DMG skills at eleven-over-ten, and he's as perceptive as you are."

A longer stretch of silence.

"...Fair enough. I have faith that you will know best when the time comes."

"Thank you, Commander."

"Dismissed."

* * *

**Team 7**

**_Team Leader:_ **

_Karl Amsel_

**_Team:_ **

_Charles Beaumont_

_Frederick Spitzer_

_Hange Zoë_

_Aideen Gallagher_

Hange hummed absentmindedly as she scanned the paper posted in the dining hall, quickly storing each name into memory. It was the list for the updated squads since she and her fellow rookies had traveled to the Survey Corps' castle headquarters.

She was extremely excited. Her knees shook as her heels tapped on the cold floor tiles, making her ponytail bounce in her jubilation. Several of her new comrades exchanged bewildered glances at her energized state, but she could care less, because in a few days time, she would finally embark on her first mission as an official scout.

_I'll get to see the world Papa dreamed about._

"Hey, Hange!" called a familiar voice. Hange spun on her heel to face an oncoming, sandy-haired boy. Freddie's face was bright as usual as he slowed to a stop in front of her; Hange returned his smile.

"You're on my squad," she stated. Freddie's grin would have widened had it been possible.

"Great! Who else is with us? " Hange didn't have to respond, for he pushed past her to give the list a careful once-over. "Karl Amsel - I hear he's good," he began, ignoring Hange's chuckle as he dove into his characteristic gossip. He was worse than the rich women in Wall Sina. "He's one of the seniors, though, so he's got a few quirks. His eyes dart around a lot, kinda like my dog when she sees a butterfly."

Freddie continued on to the next name on the list. Charles Beaumont was in their graduating class; Freddie snickered because of their halfhearted rivalry. Charles had a very sardonic, crude sense of humor, and he always seemed to be bored of everyone and everything, but he had his own wild side. His general laziness was the perfect fodder for Frederick's teasing. However, judging by his final rank, he was a fairly skilled soldier.

The dirty blonde had been smiling - at the end of the page, however, his face faltered.

"Oh," he said flatly. Hange knit her brows together.

"What's the problem?" she queried. Freddie's response was three taps of an index finger over one of the names. Hange followed his gesture.

_Aideen Gallagher._

"I don't know her," Hange told him. "What's the problem?"

"I don't know if it's true, but..."

"But?"

"Well, I've heard she's an average soldier – maybe five or so years older than us. But after a mission one day, she came back covering her entire face with her hood, and she never took it off of her head since."

Hange blew a raspberry.

"So?" she scoffed. "Maybe she just likes wearing her hood. That's a pretty dumb tale, even for you."

"Wait, no - let me finish," Freddie urged, rolling his eyes. "A veteran told me that it's because, since that mission, she's been pretty  _hard of hearing_."

The brunette's mouth formed into an 'o' shape.

"You mean..." The boy raised his hands in defense.

"I don't know, but apparently there was some sort of accident, and now she's partially deaf. I'm guessing she has a nasty ear injury. Maybe she had her head in a titan's mouth and just barely escaped." Hange pursed her lips. She suddenly understood where Frederick was really going with this.

"So you think she might hold us back? Her injury shouldn't matter that much – it's only one ear. And she has to be skilled enough if she survived five years in the Survey Corps." Freddie scratched the back of his neck.

"Oh, right. That makes sense, actually. I heard she's also kind of mean, though." Hange smirked.

"So that was your main concern, really," she teased. "You do have a habit of pissing off the worst of people."

The boy poked out his bottom lip in a pout. "It's not my fault," he protested.

"Quite frankly, Sir Frederick, it usually is." The two new scouts turned to see Charles Beaumont approaching, stopping to join them with a hand on his hip. He was shorter than the both of them at 5"4, but his posture dripped confidence; not that he was extremely arrogant, just that he was generally comfortable with himself. Freddie crossed his arms over his chest with a smirk on his face.

"I was surprised when I saw that you were on our team, Sir Charles," he quipped, as per their usual endearing way of addressing each other. "I could have sworn you pissed your pants when you heard the death rate for soldiers in the Survey Corps, but maybe it was just a trick of the light. So you didn't join the clowns in the Military Police after all?"

"I'm surprised myself that you even had time to notice if anyone was pissing their pants," Charles retorted smoothly, in his distinguished yet peculiar accent. "I didn't see you, but my guess was that you were probably in the nearest bathroom vomiting." Hange chuckled at their bickering, but she gave Frederick's previous remark some thought.

As noted, Charles was a confident fellow, and he did rank sixth by the end of training – Frederick hadn't even made the top ten – but he was not known for dreaming big. He was a boy of mere wit and simplicity with nothing to prove. It was definitely expected that he would just be looking forward to a life of ease in the innermost walls, far away from trauma and sacrifice.

"I'd actually like to know why you decided to join the Survey Corps," Hange interjected, before Freddie could reply. Charles sighed and dragged a hand through his light brown hair.

"My Grandpa was a scout, and in his will he said that none of his descendants can get his inheritance unless they become an 'honorable soldier of the Survey Corps. ' My old man told me that he believes Grandpa has some worth in his inheritance, but he was too scared to join the Corps – he's a Garrison soldier. He said I could choose whatever I wanted, but I was pretty interested in his old man's reward. So here I am."

"Of course," Hange replied, almost bitterly. She was hopeful that perhaps he'd changed his mind by realizing the greater cause of humanity. Nevertheless, she did concede that although the reason may have been selfish, at least he, a skillful former trainee of the top ten, even joined at all. Besides that, Hange didn't truly mind Charles. She was not well acquainted with him, but she could get along with him well enough.

"You know, I never thought it was possible to join the Survey Corps for a selfish reason," Frederick remarked thoughtfully. "But you still managed to do it. Are you sure you don't want to be a King's officer? Your goals seem to suit the M.P." Despite his words, Freddie was not being serious or grim. Hange knew that he did not get emotionally invested in these sorts of things; he merely enjoyed jabbing at Charles's pride.

The brunette girl soon tuned out Freddie and Charles' following banter as she turned to survey the crowd, hands resting at her hips. It was particularly easy to differentiate the new recruits from the seasoned veterans in the crowd; it was also an interesting opportunity for Hange to observe the behaviors of the two groups, as she often did – a habit she'd picked up on her travels with her father.

People-watching was her fondest pastime, for although she adored studying bugs and other small creatures under a magnifying glass (and at times, in the former's case, dissecting them), humans were far more complex, what with their emotions, quirks, and ticks, and they were ultimately more intriguing.

 _"Always remember to look into a person's eyes, Zoë,"_  her father would tell her as they'd sit for a rest after a long journey in one of the towns. They would be collapsed side-by-side on a bench, staring curiously at all of the passersby, her father ruffling her hair while he spoke.  _"A great man from long before the rise of the titans once said that they are the 'windows to their souls.' I think it's very accurate."_

In the youthful eyes of the new enlistees shone hope, bravado, and naivety – to which Hange could relate. However, on the war-weary faces of the veterans were strained smiles, shifty glances, and the occasional twitch. The green-horned recruits bumped shoulders, clapping their hands together and sharing hugs. The older soldiers were strangely too cautious to even brush hands, as though they were concerned that their fingers would only be sliding through a mirage. Hange had heard about their most recent excursion, and how many men they had lost this time.

The sight of the senior scouts reminded the former trainee just how grave a life mission she'd landed herself on. Her heart sank a little, but she willed it to grow a pair and climb back up. Still, an irate fit of anxiety churned in her stomach, because – was that what her face would look like in a couple of years? Maybe just a couple of months? She didn't know.

But she did know what death felt like for the ones left behind; she'd experienced it twice in her life. The only reason she could keep herself together was the fact that, where she was at that very moment, was where her father had wanted to be his entire life. As for her mother, she could remember but two things of the woman before she died when she was four, and those were her smile and her journal, the latter of which had been gifted to her several years ago. She carried the small, tattered book with her wherever she went; it currently sat under her bed in her dorm room upstairs.

But how many deaths would it take to push Hange to the brink in her grief?

She didn't have time to ponder it when the sight of undercut black hair in her peripheral vision caught her attention.  _Now there's a face that takes more than a once-over to figure out,_ she thought, chuckling through her nose.

"Hey Hange, where ya goin'?"

She ignored her fellow team members, breaking into a jog towards her petite-framed target. He was making his way to an empty table, holding a cup of tea by the rim in his hand.

"So, prodigy, are the rumors true?" she asked, tapping his shoulder. Levi turned his head to glance behind him. Hange eyed his hot beverage in confusion. "Why are you holding your cup like that? I thought you loathe germs."

"It depends on the rumor," he replied dryly as he pulled out a chair to sit. "And unlike some people," – he looked at her pointedly before continuing – "I wash my hands often."  _Oh...right,_  Hange thought with a nod.

Levi's pale, blue-gray eyes were impenetrable as usual, along with his overall cool demeanor. It didn't matter, however; Hange adored a challenge. The brunette herself settled down on the chair opposite him.

"I heard you were placed on Erwin's squad," she stated. He stared indifferently at her.

"I was," he said curtly. When Hange realized he would not elaborate any further, she blinked.

"Isn't that risky, considering you're just a trainee graduate?" Levi blinked back.

"It might be," he responded, tone flat. His expression remained void of any emotion. Hange raised an eyebrow at him.

"And this doesn't puzzle you?" Levi's eyes seemed almost innocent as they looked back at her. He averted his gaze in favor of his cup of tea, which he brought up to his lips to sip. Then he swallowed.

"Nope," he told her. "I understand his reasons." Hange thinned her lips. She wasn't annoyed - she wasn't the type to get frustrated easily. After all, she was used to being the infuriating one. But she didn't like it when people spoke vaguely, especially when she was interested in the details.

"And what are those reasons?" Hange asked sweetly. Levi wiped his mouth with a napkin.

"Secret," he replied. He didn't flinch when Hange slammed her hand down on the table, grinning madly at him. "You're going to make a mess." He furrowed his eyebrows at the tea sloshing around in his cup after the impact.

"How is this even possible?" she exclaimed, astonished. "You're like, what, sixteen?"

"Seventeen," he corrected calmly.

"And you get to be on an official squad? How good are you? I mean, I've seen you in training, but don't you need experience to be on a Squad Leader's team?"

"A certain type of experience, sure," Levi grunted. Hange's eyes widened in intrigue.

"And what does that mean?" she asked, leaning forward over the table. He narrowed his eyes at her, either due to her invasion of his space, her persistent interrogation, or both.

"You ask a lot of questions, Shitty Glasses." Her grin widened.

"You don't answer a lot of questions, Levi."

Levi sighed, dragging a hand up to massage his temple. Hange hoped she was wearing him down enough to get him to talk. Absentmindedly, she noticed that he still had bags under his eyes.  _Does he ever get any sleep?_  she wondered. Unfortunately, luck was not kind to her today: Levi pushed out his chair from the table and got to his feet.

"This is too troublesome for so early in the morning," the boy grumbled as he turned to leave.

"Hey, where are you going?" Hange demanded. He didn't look back as he walked.

"Away from here," he said, loud enough for her to hear.

"But Levi!" Hange called after him, leaping to her feet. Several heads turned in her direction to see the source of the commotion.

"Hey, Hange, what's going on here?"

Hange was distracted for a fraction of a second by Mike's greeting. When her gaze flickered again to Levi's back, he was already pushing through the dining hall's double-doors. The brunette heaved a sigh as she turned to face her tall friend fully. He was glancing over at Levi's exit as well.

"You piss him off again?" he chuckled. Hange laughed.

"I suppose, but I was just asking if what Freddie said is true," she explained. Mike raised his thick eyebrows at her.

"And?"

"He was right, but Levi won't say  _why_ Squad Leader Erwin chose him." The girl threw her hands up in the air.

"Deep secrets, Hange. Deep," he teased.

"Yeah, that's pretty much what he told me!" she exclaimed. Hange stared down at the floor. She could tell Mike was studying her.

"You seem pretty interested in learning about him," he observed. She nodded eagerly.

"I like learning about people, and Levi is one of the more interesting people."

"Because he won't spill anything?"

"And his personality is really complicated." Mike smirked.

"Well, just be careful who you gush about Levi to," he warned humorously as he replaced Levi's former seat, winking at her. "They might get the wrong idea." Hange returned to her own seat across from him, regarding her friend with a look of puzzlement.

"I don't follow," she told him honestly. Mike shook his head with another chuckle.

"Never mind." Hange shrugged.

"Well, it's good to see you've recovered from your hangover," she remarked with a cheerful expression. The boy groaned.

"Please don't remind me." Hange's laughter reverberated around the dining hall for all to hear. "I am never drinking again," Mike vowed. His bespectacled companion quirked an eyebrow at him. He sighed. "Okay, I'm never drinking enough for it to hurt like that again," he reworded. Hange continued to stare at him doubtfully. He scowled at her. "Shut up."

And Hange chortled some more.

* * *

_Zoë,_

_The day that I am addressing this passage to you is a special one indeed. To you in the future, this day was your third birthday, a significant milestone in any human being's life; the age when one's first memories begin to develop. So your father is taking you to see his lab for the first time, while I am waiting for your cake to bake, and then we'll all be going on a picnic together by the pond you love. Your papa is very excited to show you all of the knickknacks he's invented over the years. I think you seemed quite ecstatic yourself, but toddlers do tend to mimic their parents' moods, and Francy's enthusiasm can be awfully infectious._

_Since this day was an important one for you, I believe the day you read this journal entry will be just as special. Call it a mother's gut feeling. But because you inherit your father's impulsiveness, please be careful, whatever that day's events may be!_

_I wonder if I will be there the day you read this, and if I'll have a share in your new memories. But who knows, Chestnut. That is the cruelty of the future's uncertainty. In any case, something tells me to wish you good luck._

_Much love,_

_Bernadette Hange_

_Yes,_  Hange thought, her eyebrows knitted in determination,  _today_ is  _a special day, Mama._

She recalled her late mother's words on the yellowing pages of her journal she'd read that morning before leaving, now sitting atop her horse among hundreds of other soldiers. They were all waiting behind the castle headquarters' gates so that they could head off on their next expedition.

Flanked on either side of Hange were Frederick and Charles, and a man in his mid-thirties with white hair was in front of them - their Team Leader, Karl Amsel. Freddie was right about him being twitchy, but he seemed like a warm, kind, yet awkward man, judging by his demeanor at their team meeting the night before. Behind Hange was a woman with light ginger hair in a long, high ponytail and cold blue eyes, whom she discovered to be the final member of their team, Aideen Gallagher. Also just as Frederick had said, she had her face shadowed by the hood of her cloak. She hadn't spoken a word during the meeting; she'd just stared at her boots. Hange wasn't sure what to think of her yet.

She glanced around more, and she thought she spotted Mike's mop of blond hair far left of her position in one of the rows ahead. She assumed Nanaba's team had to have been somewhere further in the rear, since she couldn't see her anywhere in front. Levi, she knew, would be by the Commanding Squad, but a combination of factors prevented her from seeing him (ie. there were hundreds of soldiers blocking her view and Levi was quite short).

Suddenly, she noticed how silent the mass of scouts was at that moment. There were a few murmurs here and there, but otherwise everyone stayed quiet. Even Charles and Frederick, who had just been bickering by the stables minutes ago, did not speak. And then she realized that they were taking a moment to let the gravity of their situation sink in.

Hange had thought she would be prepared by now. But her nightmares from near the end of her last year of training and her three nights in the hospital, the anxiety she felt the other day on the roof of the castle, looking out for titans - all of the feelings jumbled around in her stomach and made her feel sick. She glanced again at the back of Mike's head.

 _Will he still be here by the end of the expedition?_  She thought of Nanaba and Levi, and all her team members, and she could not shake her fear for them. The rational part of her assured her that they would survive, because she had seen their skills during training, and judging by their positions in the field, they were unlikely to encounter many titans. But the remaining part of her remembered the grim faces of the veteran soldiers and the small percentage of soldiers who survived their first mission. Granted, being in the top ten, her friends were more likely to live past this excursion, but Hange could never know for certain. In addition...

Was  _she_ even going to live through this?

_You'd have to be an idiot to let your fear choke you._

Remembering Levi's words from their last night in the hospital ironically startled her out of her apprehension. And she almost smiled, because despite the rumors of him being an ex-criminal, he had given her lots of encouraging, practical advice since they'd met. He didn't mince his words or hop around the tough issues, and God knew Hange needed regular wake-up calls like that. Before she could instill the confidence his words brought within her, however, a loud, booming voice echoed across the field.

"Soldiers of the Survey Corps!" Everyone's heads snapped to attention at the sound of Commander Shadis's shout. If it was quiet before, there wasn't even the sound of crickets chirping now. Hange couldn't see him, but she could imagine the Commander gazing out at the faces of his soldiers with hard eyes. "Today is this division's thirtieth expedition outside the walls. Your team leaders have already briefed you on the long-distance scouting formation devised by Squad Leader Erwin Smith, and today we will be testing that formation. You know your orders, so let us fight to finally gain something, not for our glory, not for the respect of the Walls' citizens or the Military Police Brigade, but for humanity! So offer up your hearts and go FORWARD!"

Not a heartbeat had passed after the Commander's short speech before the scouts cried out in unison, surging forward on their horses through the gates. Hange reveled in their determination, shooting a grin at her nearby comrades and then urging her own horse into a gallop with a lash of her reins.

Emerging from the shadow of the castle entrance, Hange passed over the threshold, moving with the rest of the titan-slaying army as one. For a second, her goggles' lenses caught the sunlight and blinded her. In that moment, long-buried images flickered across the yellow light in her eyes.

There was a checkered blanket in a field of tall grass, frogs croaking in a small pond a few feet away. Her father held a grasshopper in his hands, reaching out to show her. Her mother was smiling.

Suddenly, even as her vision returned to reality, with green plains, blue skies and who knew how many titans far ahead, all of Hange's previous fears dissipated. In their place was a steady confidence, her temporarily-forgotten anger towards the titans bursting through the dams of nervousness in her spirit. A yowl of "Yahoo!" left her throat with this new shift in mood as her team spread out from the others into the new formation. Freddie howled along with her while Charles chuckled at them both.

As Hange looked out at the horizon, she could still see the trace of her mother's smile filtering through. Her wings of freedom billowing in the wind behind her, the brunette threw her head back with a smile of her own that stretched from ear to ear, enjoying the strong breeze that buffeted through her thick locks of hair.

This, she now knew, was what freedom felt like.

_Are you proud of me, Mama and Papa?_

_Your Chestnut's a soldier, now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not sorry i really loved my headcanon about hange's parents and writing mama hange's letter to her daughter gave me so much happiness
> 
> THIS CHAPTER WAS HARD BUT HANGE WAS FUN TO WRITE I LOVE HER. and maybe you guys could give me some feedback in the comment section? eyyy?

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: After this story's reception on FFnet, I've decided that I'm definitely going to turn this into a multi-chapter fic. Each chapter will depict a scene/scenes of Levi and Hanji's relationship over the years, and it will progress into more romance as it goes on. This story will update on both this site as well as FFnet, just in case you prefer one over the other.


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